Police in Louisville, Kentucky say that 50-year-old Jeffrey Wagner admitted to smoking crystal meth before going into a Burlington Coat Factory store and having a veritable feast, WLKY in Louisville reported.

Store employees told police they found Wagner in the shoe section chowing down on carpet lint. Seriously.

He allegedly said he was “eating sparkles,” WHAS 11 reported.

Police arrived at the scene, approached Wagner, and noted his dilated eyes, slurred speech and unsteady gait. A search of his person revealed a little of this and a little of that – officers found bags of Lortabs, a bag of unidentified  pills, crystal meth and an unknown white powder. 

Wagner was charged with possession of a controlled substance and public intoxication. It’s not known if he has legal counsel.